I looked around at the city as the Allied forces closed in. This city reflected all that I stood for. There was uproar and unease all around me but I was calm. This was it. It had finally come to this. I looked around the innate and plush surroundings around my office. I looked at the portrait of myself painted by one of my many deranged followers. They all worshipped the beauty of my philosophy. It had all seemed too easy.
Every step I took reminded me of a page from my life. I looked around and suddenly I was filled with the smoke filled air of Poland and the fear ridden silence in the cities as I passed by. I shifted my gaze and suddenly I was in prague shaking hands with my Commander. I looked at my reflection and saw a fallen leader. How badly I had erred. How visibly I had blundered. How knowingly I was bewitched by own philosophy that I couldn’t even think?
Shoulders hunched, I ignored the sudden explosions occurring outside. I couldn’t help but think with amusement that if it had been me ordering this attack, it wouldn’t have lasted this long. I definitely couldn’t risk letting me escape. Lucky for them, I didn’t want to. Lucky for them, I didn’t need to.
I looked down at my arms. The only time I had ever fired a gun I was at war with those who hated my country. How ironic. No, poetic is a better word. I proceeded to fondly run it over my gloved hands. For a few minutes I merely reflected how history would remember me. My smile faded. I felt pain. I felt so much pain. In the years to come I will never be forgotten. They will burn effigies of me. History books will slander me. People will spit on my name. Maybe my very name will never be used on another German again. This is the punishment by the Gods for my own obsession with myself. Consumed as I was, I looked at the reflection in front of me…….
I was Narcissus….
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Shout... Shout ... Let it all out!
Heh heh.... Dont go by the title... im not venting here. Its the eve of another review and i just feel a little vain right now. To tell the truth, well this is what I am really good at.
Speaking... Talking.... The gift of the gab. Trust me I could talk you into or out of anything should I want to. Tommorow I gotta convince a panel of Lecturers that my project is worth my weight.. no no jayalalithas weight in gold!
Heh heh Ok lets get all formal shall we? Ahem ahem...
Have you noticed my profile pic on this blog? That pic is actually where it all began. A speech introducing a chief guest at out school sports day back in fifth standard. I can remember so clearly being asked to do it. I can also remember my preparation for that day. I wrote a speech with all her introductions that nisha Madam had given me. Dad came in took one look at it and tore it up.
Yeah, so like i said, thats where it all began! Dad asked me to follow him, i remember sitting in the passage between the kitchen and my room ( my dads zone that was, he would always be serious there ) There he sits me down and begins to teach me what i call the golden rules of public speaking? What the hell, let me share a few.
Rule No one: Your audience can read! So if you decide to take notes up, just xerox them and give it to them instead of speaking. A speech is a conversation except that u have no interaction. I realised how much i loved that rule. For this speech i couldn forgo all notes because i didnt really know who the hell the chief guest was, so i did take notes. But didnt glance down too often. I did try to memorize as much of it as possible.
Rule No two: Talk as if you are having a conversation but remember to enunciate. Hardly needed to go into details with this one....
Rule no three: Look impressive. Yeah its important to look good on stage. Doesnt matter if you are drop dead ugly, looking good simply means looking impressive. Polished shoes, pressed clothes, clean face always goes. But not always necessary. You gotta be creative to make sure they look at you.
Rule no four: GOLDEN RULE! Oh yes this is the granddaddy of all the rules. KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE. rule no three can be applied here, where u dress for the part. U gotta know how to keep your audience into what you are saying. Its actually very simple. Every single time you go up on stage you always have one advantage.... lol you know what? I have said enough.
Anyway dad took me aside and rewrote my speech for me. He then proceeded to actually speak. Picture an awestruck 8 yr old... or whatever the age was.... well that was me. Both hands clenched into fists and on my cheeks as my eyes were wide open and my mouth partially open. In fact I think I can faintly remember my grandfather watching this...
I spoke that day exactly as dad had said. Or rather i started to. Well, I honestly dont know why I did it, but when I got to that podium, I took one look at my audience and I just knew one thing, I can do this.... I just knew that I was going to nail this. I began speaking. I remember once looking at dad and he seemed so surprised because I was speaking not what he had written, nor following his style. At least not completely. I was much more formal much more precise i think. Dads more aggressive than me on stage. But i do remember applause...
That paved the way for me. I really picked up public speaking after that. Especially for Newspaper in Education ( NIE ) which was started when i was in school, where we would have a volunteer come to class and conduct elocution, on the spot speaking, debates etc. I would so look forward to that. Plus i learnt back then how to tackle a hostile audience. Cause none of my classmates ( obviously ) liked listening! But i found ways to get their attention.
Unfortunately that stopped when i entered high school. Come to think of it I shouldnt have stopped it. But things were happening then that called for my attention.
Then here i came... Now I have mentioned on an earlier post that i was a jackass in my first year. True. But I was dynamite on stage. Yes I am not being very modest but take these factors into consideration, the first speaker at a college speaking fest, the only first year to go to a cultural event, a speaker specially requested by my english department throughout that year for every speaking event. I saw and interpreted topics like nobody did. I will share some of those speeches in my next post.
What followed this was in class seminars. Now trust me when i say this, there is no hostile crowd worse than a local engineering college classroom. Also trust me when i say this, I rule....
Speaking... Talking.... The gift of the gab. Trust me I could talk you into or out of anything should I want to. Tommorow I gotta convince a panel of Lecturers that my project is worth my weight.. no no jayalalithas weight in gold!
Heh heh Ok lets get all formal shall we? Ahem ahem...
Have you noticed my profile pic on this blog? That pic is actually where it all began. A speech introducing a chief guest at out school sports day back in fifth standard. I can remember so clearly being asked to do it. I can also remember my preparation for that day. I wrote a speech with all her introductions that nisha Madam had given me. Dad came in took one look at it and tore it up.
Yeah, so like i said, thats where it all began! Dad asked me to follow him, i remember sitting in the passage between the kitchen and my room ( my dads zone that was, he would always be serious there ) There he sits me down and begins to teach me what i call the golden rules of public speaking? What the hell, let me share a few.
Rule No one: Your audience can read! So if you decide to take notes up, just xerox them and give it to them instead of speaking. A speech is a conversation except that u have no interaction. I realised how much i loved that rule. For this speech i couldn forgo all notes because i didnt really know who the hell the chief guest was, so i did take notes. But didnt glance down too often. I did try to memorize as much of it as possible.
Rule No two: Talk as if you are having a conversation but remember to enunciate. Hardly needed to go into details with this one....
Rule no three: Look impressive. Yeah its important to look good on stage. Doesnt matter if you are drop dead ugly, looking good simply means looking impressive. Polished shoes, pressed clothes, clean face always goes. But not always necessary. You gotta be creative to make sure they look at you.
Rule no four: GOLDEN RULE! Oh yes this is the granddaddy of all the rules. KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE. rule no three can be applied here, where u dress for the part. U gotta know how to keep your audience into what you are saying. Its actually very simple. Every single time you go up on stage you always have one advantage.... lol you know what? I have said enough.
Anyway dad took me aside and rewrote my speech for me. He then proceeded to actually speak. Picture an awestruck 8 yr old... or whatever the age was.... well that was me. Both hands clenched into fists and on my cheeks as my eyes were wide open and my mouth partially open. In fact I think I can faintly remember my grandfather watching this...
I spoke that day exactly as dad had said. Or rather i started to. Well, I honestly dont know why I did it, but when I got to that podium, I took one look at my audience and I just knew one thing, I can do this.... I just knew that I was going to nail this. I began speaking. I remember once looking at dad and he seemed so surprised because I was speaking not what he had written, nor following his style. At least not completely. I was much more formal much more precise i think. Dads more aggressive than me on stage. But i do remember applause...
That paved the way for me. I really picked up public speaking after that. Especially for Newspaper in Education ( NIE ) which was started when i was in school, where we would have a volunteer come to class and conduct elocution, on the spot speaking, debates etc. I would so look forward to that. Plus i learnt back then how to tackle a hostile audience. Cause none of my classmates ( obviously ) liked listening! But i found ways to get their attention.
Unfortunately that stopped when i entered high school. Come to think of it I shouldnt have stopped it. But things were happening then that called for my attention.
Then here i came... Now I have mentioned on an earlier post that i was a jackass in my first year. True. But I was dynamite on stage. Yes I am not being very modest but take these factors into consideration, the first speaker at a college speaking fest, the only first year to go to a cultural event, a speaker specially requested by my english department throughout that year for every speaking event. I saw and interpreted topics like nobody did. I will share some of those speeches in my next post.
What followed this was in class seminars. Now trust me when i say this, there is no hostile crowd worse than a local engineering college classroom. Also trust me when i say this, I rule....
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
A change?
I have been meaning to write about this for a very long time. I see I have the time now to go deep into this topic. Its a very old and basic idea but one which I have a lot of difficulty understanding, although experienced it enough. The topic? A change in personality....
I will start out with some friends as examples. Now a person i know used to be emotional and trusting while being a fun person to be around. This person is still a fun person to be around, very much so in fact, but the former two qualities have just disappeared. I kid you not, this person is now made of stone and the trust issue, I can tell you that I have been a friend for a while now, and I am still to earn some trust. So lets understand how this happened. The claim is that constant fights among friends, betrayals from close friends and a failed relationship are to blame. Sounds familiar doesnt it? But then again is this reason enough to completely change who you are? Because I am sure deep down emotions still run and the want to trust is still there. But I guess I of all people can understand the fear of committment.
Lets take another one. This one is actually pretty sad because I honestly thought I knew this person better than anyone. But over the past few months I have been just shake my head in wonder. I dont think I should go into details in a public blog, but lets just say there was such a dynamic shift that I didnt recognise that person at all anymore. In fact, still dont.
Now I guess as one last example I can take myself. Anyone who met me in my first year here can vouch for the fact that I was a first rate jackass. I humbly accept it. I was a jerk. But second semester onwards there was a maganimous shift in my personality wherein I realised a lot about how to handle people, how to conduct myself while, maintaining my own distinct identity. Now lets go into some detail.
The first thing I feel that motivates a change like this is a deep dissatisfaction for the way life is going on at that moment. To expand this an extremely strong hurtful sentiment, betrayal.. well you get the picture. An event or series of events occur which hurt you very much and as a self defence mechanism the mind moulds itself to prevent a recurrence of the same. Which is why I think that popular phrase, once bitten twice shy.
The second thing that motivates this change is a role model. This probably has happened to all of us at some point. When faced with a crisis we ask ourselves how would this person have handled this? We all have someone we consider a role model. I hence assume they obviously would inspire change.
The third and final thing that motivates this is a catastrophe in life. Like the sudden death of a loved one. Nothing changes a person like grief. I wont go too deep into this.
This change does not happen overnight. It happens over a period of time, sometimes unknowingly. My question to you is this. Do people maintain their individuality at the end of the day? Do people have atleast one person in their life to who they are exactly themselves, not conscious of what they are saying or how they are standing or how they look?
Is such a change healthy? Cause in the previous two examples I think not. In my case it was a positive change ( or so i feel ) hence am continuing in that way. But once someone is hurt by an act, they automatically assume it will recur and never open themselves upto another chance. I feel if you are hurt, heal, but then go back to play. Living behind closed doors will only remind you how few windows you have.....
I will start out with some friends as examples. Now a person i know used to be emotional and trusting while being a fun person to be around. This person is still a fun person to be around, very much so in fact, but the former two qualities have just disappeared. I kid you not, this person is now made of stone and the trust issue, I can tell you that I have been a friend for a while now, and I am still to earn some trust. So lets understand how this happened. The claim is that constant fights among friends, betrayals from close friends and a failed relationship are to blame. Sounds familiar doesnt it? But then again is this reason enough to completely change who you are? Because I am sure deep down emotions still run and the want to trust is still there. But I guess I of all people can understand the fear of committment.
Lets take another one. This one is actually pretty sad because I honestly thought I knew this person better than anyone. But over the past few months I have been just shake my head in wonder. I dont think I should go into details in a public blog, but lets just say there was such a dynamic shift that I didnt recognise that person at all anymore. In fact, still dont.
Now I guess as one last example I can take myself. Anyone who met me in my first year here can vouch for the fact that I was a first rate jackass. I humbly accept it. I was a jerk. But second semester onwards there was a maganimous shift in my personality wherein I realised a lot about how to handle people, how to conduct myself while, maintaining my own distinct identity. Now lets go into some detail.
The first thing I feel that motivates a change like this is a deep dissatisfaction for the way life is going on at that moment. To expand this an extremely strong hurtful sentiment, betrayal.. well you get the picture. An event or series of events occur which hurt you very much and as a self defence mechanism the mind moulds itself to prevent a recurrence of the same. Which is why I think that popular phrase, once bitten twice shy.
The second thing that motivates this change is a role model. This probably has happened to all of us at some point. When faced with a crisis we ask ourselves how would this person have handled this? We all have someone we consider a role model. I hence assume they obviously would inspire change.
The third and final thing that motivates this is a catastrophe in life. Like the sudden death of a loved one. Nothing changes a person like grief. I wont go too deep into this.
This change does not happen overnight. It happens over a period of time, sometimes unknowingly. My question to you is this. Do people maintain their individuality at the end of the day? Do people have atleast one person in their life to who they are exactly themselves, not conscious of what they are saying or how they are standing or how they look?
Is such a change healthy? Cause in the previous two examples I think not. In my case it was a positive change ( or so i feel ) hence am continuing in that way. But once someone is hurt by an act, they automatically assume it will recur and never open themselves upto another chance. I feel if you are hurt, heal, but then go back to play. Living behind closed doors will only remind you how few windows you have.....
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
The Power of the walk
A walk all alone in the middle of the night across a well known path or one that you never have walked on tends to be quite the trip when you are feeling a bit off. I have often found it surprising how far away my thoughts go as I just walk on and on looking around me. Its really quite soothing. I dont recommend this but yeah get an ipod with you and just humm along as you walk. I assure you this has nothing to do with exercise in anyway. Its just a leisurely stroll at the end of a long day.
Thing is most of us nowadays suffer from a strange type of insomnia. We cant hit the sack until say 11 or 12. In such scenarios when you are up at 10 and have nothing to do I usually just pick myself up and walk away into the night. More often than not I end up thinking about my day. Thinking what I did and if I could have done it any better. Sometimes I think about my family and friends and just laugh as I remember some good times.
Sometimes when I have a big day the next day I take a walk and then find somewhere outdoors to just sit. Do nothing but just sit. I call this my epiphany moment. Simply cause when I do this I get all kinds of ideas on how to tackle the day, problem or worry. More often than not, I get some good ideas.
I dont shun company on these walks, I welcome it. One of the many ways to get closer to someone is by just walking with them. As you walk they tend to open up to you if you just listen. Everyone has something to talk about in a walk. At the end of it, everyone feels a little better. Its honestly like an aphrodisiac for your self. You feel a lot stronger and less hopeless. There is no need to open up about the problem, sometimes just listening to others problems helps you get over your own. Sometimes talking about absolute balderdash helps your mind calm down and think better.
A walk is a very powerful tool that I use for introspective analysis too. Very often when I feel I am straying from my goal I quietly just walk collecting my thoughts. Sometimes its even happened that I have realised about my straying while on a walk.
I'm sure this sounds silly, but it works for me. A simple walk at the end of the day. Maybe it might for you?
Thing is most of us nowadays suffer from a strange type of insomnia. We cant hit the sack until say 11 or 12. In such scenarios when you are up at 10 and have nothing to do I usually just pick myself up and walk away into the night. More often than not I end up thinking about my day. Thinking what I did and if I could have done it any better. Sometimes I think about my family and friends and just laugh as I remember some good times.
Sometimes when I have a big day the next day I take a walk and then find somewhere outdoors to just sit. Do nothing but just sit. I call this my epiphany moment. Simply cause when I do this I get all kinds of ideas on how to tackle the day, problem or worry. More often than not, I get some good ideas.
I dont shun company on these walks, I welcome it. One of the many ways to get closer to someone is by just walking with them. As you walk they tend to open up to you if you just listen. Everyone has something to talk about in a walk. At the end of it, everyone feels a little better. Its honestly like an aphrodisiac for your self. You feel a lot stronger and less hopeless. There is no need to open up about the problem, sometimes just listening to others problems helps you get over your own. Sometimes talking about absolute balderdash helps your mind calm down and think better.
A walk is a very powerful tool that I use for introspective analysis too. Very often when I feel I am straying from my goal I quietly just walk collecting my thoughts. Sometimes its even happened that I have realised about my straying while on a walk.
I'm sure this sounds silly, but it works for me. A simple walk at the end of the day. Maybe it might for you?
The Maoists
Another attack and this time in full brutality. I decided to research into this problem to find out what the dispute is all about. So first of all what are maoists?
now maoism is actually a cross between marxism and early chinese teachings by of the late chinese leader mao zedong. I dont care about the teachings but heres how it started in india. Two people were chiefly responsible, Charu majumdar and Kanyu Sangal, both extremists of communist parties within india and used a local landdispute to attack landlords and escalate violence in the area in a bid to dethrone the CPI(M) government. Majumdar was instrumental in setting up maoist ideaology when he published an eight page inscription outlining maoist teachings.
Now the base of this movement as far as I have read was setup in the then city of calcutta( now kolkatta) as they got plenty of support from the student community there. A popular idea at the time was that communism would support the downtrodden and the upper class were to blame for everyones misfortunes. This funda would hold and fueled anger in the downtrodden which was the worst in calcutta.
But if this was not enough, a man named Satyanarayan Singh began to question Majumdar and when majumdar was arrested ( and later died in prison) he took over the rebel movement. The movement became a proper rebel movement only under him and have been responsible for several deaths within the country causing our prime minister to state that Maoists are terrorists. Certainly their activities do not vindicate them, as they are quoting from newspapers responsible for the deaths in the following denomination.
Now the dispute is simple,
They want a communist government.... we arent giving it to them ... Its a deadlock that cant be resolved. So why are we giving in to talks... these numbers are enough to show that this group has killed more indians than lashkar!
Most of the time we arent concerned with these idealogies as they are not anywhere around us. But we live in one country.
I have run out of time. I will continue this thread when i get the time. but do think..
now maoism is actually a cross between marxism and early chinese teachings by of the late chinese leader mao zedong. I dont care about the teachings but heres how it started in india. Two people were chiefly responsible, Charu majumdar and Kanyu Sangal, both extremists of communist parties within india and used a local landdispute to attack landlords and escalate violence in the area in a bid to dethrone the CPI(M) government. Majumdar was instrumental in setting up maoist ideaology when he published an eight page inscription outlining maoist teachings.
Now the base of this movement as far as I have read was setup in the then city of calcutta( now kolkatta) as they got plenty of support from the student community there. A popular idea at the time was that communism would support the downtrodden and the upper class were to blame for everyones misfortunes. This funda would hold and fueled anger in the downtrodden which was the worst in calcutta.
But if this was not enough, a man named Satyanarayan Singh began to question Majumdar and when majumdar was arrested ( and later died in prison) he took over the rebel movement. The movement became a proper rebel movement only under him and have been responsible for several deaths within the country causing our prime minister to state that Maoists are terrorists. Certainly their activities do not vindicate them, as they are quoting from newspapers responsible for the deaths in the following denomination.
- 1996: 156 deaths
- 1997: 428 deaths
- 1998: 270 deaths
- 1999: 363 deaths
- 2000: 50 deaths
- 2001: 100+ deaths
- 2002: 140 deaths
- 2003: 451 deaths
- 2004: 500+ deaths
- 2005: 700+ deaths
- 2006: 750 deaths
- 2007: 650 deaths
- 2008: 794 deaths
- 2009: 1,134 deaths
Now the dispute is simple,
They want a communist government.... we arent giving it to them ... Its a deadlock that cant be resolved. So why are we giving in to talks... these numbers are enough to show that this group has killed more indians than lashkar!
Most of the time we arent concerned with these idealogies as they are not anywhere around us. But we live in one country.
I have run out of time. I will continue this thread when i get the time. but do think..
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Ciao
The end is nearing so fast now that I can almost smell it. I have heard talk from my brothers, uncles even my own dad that college is the best years of your life. You are going to live it up in college like you haven ever. Its true you do. But now that I am nearing the end, I realise I am not going to miss this at all. Not by a long shot.
The reason is a little strange. In my first year here, I was a complete ass. The reason for that was an inappropriately large cultural shock. From a city background up north of the country to come down to the most basic of territories to study among super sensitive people was not exactly my cup of tea. So yes I was a jerk who kept to himself shunned people, maybe even showed some arrogance.
However that didnt last. I worked on myself and brought myself down to earth and began hanging out with people. What I slowly realised was that it didnt matter. Dont get me wrong, I did manage to get some friends, great friends mind you. But I seem to have found so many people whose primary goal in life is to bitch about me. But I must admit this, it doesnt bother me at all anymore.
So these four years, what are the good memories I will have? Well all the public speaking I have done will stand out, my memories with my 'booze gang' will always be there... love those guys... I guess somewhere at the back of my mind I will also remember a failed relationship. Why is that a good memory? Well we may not be on talking terms now, but she was a reason I didnt lose my sanity in this place. God bless her. What else? Basketball I guess, I will definitely remember all the fun this sport has given me. Ill also probably miss a few people here. They all made my life a lot better.
But am I going to cry and say thank you to all and say this college rocks? HELL NO. From the bottom of my heart I hate this college. Always will. All those good memories from that paragraph above do not cancel the bad ones I have of this place. I am honestly glad I am leaving and wish to never be reminded of it.
Yes, you are probably wondering why the anger. I dont blame you. In my life so far I have never hated anything or anyone. Dont mean to start that now. But this college is it. I hate it. I was most miserable when I was here and trust me I am a very fun loving guy.
So bottomline, GOOD RIDDANCE!
The reason is a little strange. In my first year here, I was a complete ass. The reason for that was an inappropriately large cultural shock. From a city background up north of the country to come down to the most basic of territories to study among super sensitive people was not exactly my cup of tea. So yes I was a jerk who kept to himself shunned people, maybe even showed some arrogance.
However that didnt last. I worked on myself and brought myself down to earth and began hanging out with people. What I slowly realised was that it didnt matter. Dont get me wrong, I did manage to get some friends, great friends mind you. But I seem to have found so many people whose primary goal in life is to bitch about me. But I must admit this, it doesnt bother me at all anymore.
So these four years, what are the good memories I will have? Well all the public speaking I have done will stand out, my memories with my 'booze gang' will always be there... love those guys... I guess somewhere at the back of my mind I will also remember a failed relationship. Why is that a good memory? Well we may not be on talking terms now, but she was a reason I didnt lose my sanity in this place. God bless her. What else? Basketball I guess, I will definitely remember all the fun this sport has given me. Ill also probably miss a few people here. They all made my life a lot better.
But am I going to cry and say thank you to all and say this college rocks? HELL NO. From the bottom of my heart I hate this college. Always will. All those good memories from that paragraph above do not cancel the bad ones I have of this place. I am honestly glad I am leaving and wish to never be reminded of it.
Yes, you are probably wondering why the anger. I dont blame you. In my life so far I have never hated anything or anyone. Dont mean to start that now. But this college is it. I hate it. I was most miserable when I was here and trust me I am a very fun loving guy.
So bottomline, GOOD RIDDANCE!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
not so quick this time
Life seems to me as an endless journey of learning and learning some more. Just when I feel I have got the hang of something, something unexpected hits me. Worst part is, I like it.
I really do. Life is a lot of fun this way. When you begin to realise that no matter how much you plan anything can and most probably will happen to either improve or decrease the chances of that event happening. But I do notice this, each time I have faced an obstacle, I have come out of it stronger and learning something more about life. Its weird in that way. Which makes me want to ask you this question,
How long do you have to live before you run out of things to learn? Is a lifetime actually enough? This line of thought made me realise that I really wish reincarnation is true. That we do take life again in another form after death. Because lets face it, life rocks. It really does. It may suck occasionally but if u learn to pick yourself up its just a matter of time before you start to feel good about yourself. I love that feeling. I love it when i get past a shortcoming. I love it when I make an impact in someones life. I like knowing that I matter. That I have made a difference. Trust me, we all have! If you are thinking I havent, then let me point out to you, your parents. If you are an orphan, well let me point out to you your friends. If you are friendless, let me point out to you, YOU. Yes you read right. Most of the time the biggest difference is in ourself. Why dont we realise that? compare yourself to a year ago. Do you not see a difference in certain mannerisms, in knowledge gained? Everyday you are making an impact on yourself.
Damn I can go off topic so easily. For that matter what was my topic? :D
I dunno, I really dunno. and you know what? I never will know... Thats the best part.
I really do. Life is a lot of fun this way. When you begin to realise that no matter how much you plan anything can and most probably will happen to either improve or decrease the chances of that event happening. But I do notice this, each time I have faced an obstacle, I have come out of it stronger and learning something more about life. Its weird in that way. Which makes me want to ask you this question,
How long do you have to live before you run out of things to learn? Is a lifetime actually enough? This line of thought made me realise that I really wish reincarnation is true. That we do take life again in another form after death. Because lets face it, life rocks. It really does. It may suck occasionally but if u learn to pick yourself up its just a matter of time before you start to feel good about yourself. I love that feeling. I love it when i get past a shortcoming. I love it when I make an impact in someones life. I like knowing that I matter. That I have made a difference. Trust me, we all have! If you are thinking I havent, then let me point out to you, your parents. If you are an orphan, well let me point out to you your friends. If you are friendless, let me point out to you, YOU. Yes you read right. Most of the time the biggest difference is in ourself. Why dont we realise that? compare yourself to a year ago. Do you not see a difference in certain mannerisms, in knowledge gained? Everyday you are making an impact on yourself.
Damn I can go off topic so easily. For that matter what was my topic? :D
I dunno, I really dunno. and you know what? I never will know... Thats the best part.
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